Single-parent surrogacy sits at the intersection of love, law, and logistics. Love drives the choice, while laws and logistics turn embryos into ultrasound images and birth certificates.
Yet the roadblocks are real: How do you secure parental rights in a state that doubts single-parent families? Can you afford the financial and emotional weight of surrogacy without a partner to share it?
These questions (and many more) aren’t hypothetical—they’re hurdles many hopeful single parents face. To move forward, you need a roadmap and preparation.
Here, we’ll break down everything you need to know and help you manage practical demands without losing sight of the bigger picture.
But first, let’s unpack the essentials: what single-parent surrogacy truly involves.
Understanding Single-Parent Surrogacy
Single-parent surrogacy allows you to build a family using your own genetic material (or donor eggs/sperm) and a surrogate to carry the pregnancy.
While the medical process mirrors surrogacy for couples, single parents face distinct legal, emotional, and financial realities.
Here’s what you need to know.
How It Works
For Single Moms:
You’ll use your eggs (or a donor’s) and donor sperm to create an embryo via IVF. This embryo is then transferred to a surrogate, who carries the pregnancy. Many single mothers choose this path due to medical challenges (like uterine issues) or personal choice.
For Single Dads:
You’ll need both an egg donor and a gestational surrogate. Your sperm (or donor sperm) is used to fertilize the donor’s egg via IVF, and the embryo is transferred to the surrogate.
Wait—What About Traditional Surrogacy?
In rare cases, single dads might consider traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate uses her own egg (making her the biological mother).
However, this is not recommended:
- Legal Risks: Can lead to custody battles.
- Ethical Concerns: Blurred roles can strain relationships.
- Availability: Banned or restricted in many U.S. states and surrogacy-friendly countries.
Stick with gestational surrogacy—it’s safer, clearer, and more widely accepted.
What Makes It Unique
- You’re in Charge: Every decision—from selecting a donor to approving medical steps—rests on your shoulders.
- Legal Variability: Some states welcome single parents; others impose strict rules (we’ll dive into this next).
- Emotional Weight: Building trust with your surrogate and managing societal expectations (“Why not adopt?”) can feel isolating without a partner’s support.
Why Agencies Matter
Most single parents work with surrogacy agencies to:
- Find vetted surrogates who align with their values.
- Handle medical coordination and legal paperwork.
Offer emotional support during setbacks.
Surrogacy Law for Single Parents
Single-parent surrogacy laws vary dramatically depending on where you live, the type of surrogacy you pursue, and even your gender.
In the United States: A State-by-State Patchwork
- Supportive States:
California, Colorado, and others welcome single parents with clear and supportive surrogacy laws. These states allow gestational surrogacy and streamline parental rights through pre-birth orders (legal documents naming you the parent before birth).
- Restrictive States:
Louisiana and Nebraska are the only two states in the US that ban commercial surrogacy. That goes for single intended parents and couples alike. Michigan, on the other hand, recently relaxed its surrogacy restrictions and now allows paid surrogacy. Always verify current state laws with an experienced surrogacy attorney.
- Single Dads vs. Moms:
Single men often face extra steps. For example, in stricter states, fathers may need to adopt their biological child post-birth, even with a genetic connection.
International Surrogacy: Proceed with Caution
Supportive Countries:
- Canada: Allows single-parent surrogacy but bans paying surrogates beyond reimbursing expenses (altruistic surrogacy only).
- Ukraine: Once a top destination for singles, international surrogacy is now unsafe due to the war with Russia. Many now turn to Georgia, though its surrogacy industry faces ethical concerns about exploitation.
Countries with Restrictions:
- Australia: Laws vary by state—some allow single-parent surrogacy, others don’t.
- India: Only permits altruistic surrogacy for single women over 25 who are widowed or divorced.
- Europe: Most countries ban or heavily regulate surrogacy. Germany imposes strict rules; Italy outright prohibits it.
Breaking Down The Surrogacy Process for Single Parents
The surrogacy journey is a series of carefully coordinated steps. Here’s what single intended parents can expect:
1. Initial Consultation: Laying the Groundwork
Your journey begins with a meeting between you, a surrogacy agency, and a legal expert. Together, you’ll discuss:
- Legal Requirements: State/country laws impacting your eligibility.
- Medical Steps: IVF timelines, fertility screenings, and donor options (if needed).
- Financial Planning: Budgeting for agency fees, surrogate compensation, and medical costs.
This step sets expectations and ensures you’re emotionally, legally, and financially prepared.
2. Selecting a Surrogate: Finding the Right Match
Surrogacy agencies simplify this critical step by:
- Vetting Candidates: Screening surrogates for physical health, mental readiness, and lifestyle compatibility.
- Matching Values: Pairing you with someone who shares your priorities (e.g., communication style, birth plan preferences).
Tip for Singles: Look for surrogates experienced with solo parents—they’ll understand your unique needs.
3. Legal Agreements: Protecting Everyone’s Rights
A surrogacy attorney drafts a gestational surrogacy contract outlining:
- Parental Rights: Ensuring you’re recognized as the legal parent from birth.
- Compensation: Surrogate fees, medical expenses, and contingency plans (e.g., pregnancy complications).
- Responsibilities: Communication expectations, medical decisions, and birth plans.
Why It Matters: This contract is your safety net. For single parents, clarity is non-negotiable.
4. Medical Procedures: From Embryos to Pregnancy
- IVF Process: Your sperm/egg (or donor material) is used to create embryos.
- Embryo Transfer: The healthiest embryo is implanted into the surrogate’s uterus.
Note: Synchronizing schedules with donors and surrogates requires flexibility—a challenge when managing logistics alone.
5. Pregnancy and Monitoring: Staying Involved
You’ll have the right to:
- Attend key appointments (ultrasounds, prenatal checkups).
- Receive updates on the surrogate’s health and the baby’s progress.
Emotional Tip: Build a rapport with your surrogate. Share milestones like hearing the baby’s heartbeat together.
6. Birth and Parental Rights: Crossing the Finish Line
- Pre-Birth Orders: In supportive states like California, these legal documents name you the parent before delivery.
- Post-Birth Steps: In restrictive regions, you may need to adopt your biological child or appear in court.
For International Surrogacy: Plan for passport applications, immigration paperwork, and potential delays.
7. Bringing Your Child Home: The Journey Begins
Once the legalities are resolved, you’ll finally hold your child. But remember:
- Postpartum Support: Surrogates may need emotional closure; consider a respectful farewell.
Parenting Prep: Line up childcare, pediatrician visits, and parental leave.
Surrogacy for Single Dads and Moms: Unique Considerations
While the process is similar for all single parents, your gender and location shape the journey:
| Consideration | Single Moms | Single Dads |
|---|---|---|
| Legal Hurdles | Proving non-birth parent rights | Securing paternity in restrictive states |
| Social Stigma | “Why not carry the baby yourself?” | “Can a man parent alone?” |
| Logistical Focus | Sperm donor selection | Egg donor + surrogate coordination |
Emotional Support: Build a network of friends, therapists, or surrogacy support groups. You’ll need cheerleaders and sounding boards.
Single Parent Surrogacy Cost
Surrogacy is a significant financial commitment, especially without a partner to share costs. Here’s what to budget:
General Costs
- Agency Fees: 20,000 – 40,000 (matching, screenings, support).
- Surrogate Compensation: 50,000–80,000 (U.S. average).
- Medical Expenses: 30,000–50,000 (IVF, prenatal care, delivery).
- Legal Fees: 10,000–15,000 (contracts, parental rights).
U.S. vs. Europe: Key Differences
| Region | Average Cost | Legal Notes |
| U.S. | 130,000–200,000+ | Higher surrogate pay, but favorable laws in states like CA. |
| Europe | 50,000–80,000 | Lower costs, but many countries ban surrogacy for singles. |
Why California Stands Out
Despite higher costs ($130,000+), California offers:
- Legal Security: Pre-birth orders for singles.
- Experienced Professionals: Top agencies, clinics, and attorneys.
Over to You
Surrogacy is a journey of courage, love, and meticulous planning. While the road may feel long, countless single parents have walked it—and found every challenge worth the reward.
You don’t have to navigate it alone.
Fertility and Surrogacy Legal Group (FSLG) specializes in guiding single parents through legal complexities, agency coordination, and emotional hurdles.
Ready to take the first step? Contact us today to start your surrogacy journey with confidence. Your family’s story begins here.
